Keep me way from apathy, while I am still awake. And don’t let me think too long, of the one I’m bound to face – Hundred Waters: Show Me Love
The prompt this week is Dating Profiles. Although I wasn’t looking for a date in the normal sense, I did use Ashley Madison to find a sex partner. My profile would of been a mixture of truth, half truths and downright lies, so the prompt this week re “what is my dating profile” would match this! On Ashley Madison I was honest re age, height and weight, and what I was looking for. And also the photographs used were recent. Earnest indeed limited his search criteria to a few extra pounds, so if I had not been honest by describing myself as having a few extra pounds, we would of never had met. The profile below was it my Ashley Madison or not??
“Plump middled aged woman, weary of life and with a few wrinkles and a saggy bottom desires a well maintained lover. Age immaterial as long as you are breathing. Must be able to satisfy her needs. Effort to be made no flappy pants, chinos and brown shoes or Man from C & A attire. Must be prepared to wine, dine and talk on geraniums her favourite container plant. Must be extensively well travelled and able to provide amenity bags from airlines as a gift.
In return I will provide matching underwear which may not be an exact match colour wise due to washing pants with dark clothing and bra with white clothing hence slightly grey hue to said pants. Will however endeavour to wear natural materials instead of bri nylon which crackles and sparks in the dark. Am able to talk the hind leg of a donkey and laugh like said donkey too. On High Days and Birthdays and as a special request will wear stockings instead of industrial American Tan 60 denier tights. Heels worn as if you are over 5’4″ tall these are a necessity request, as otherwise I will be talking to your navel.
Not looking for a FB, FWB, BDSM, STD, STI, FILF, BB or a Knighthood.
Wanted a sensual lover. Who will be able to entice her with a smile. Who can unhook her bra with one finger causing her large breasts to tumble out and forward. Who can take a nipple into his mouth, lightly lick, savour and devour with his tongue running around the edge of the nipple causing it to swell in desire. Who can trace his finger down from said breasts along the mummy tummy to the top of her pubis bone. Who can slide his finger underneath the edge of her pants and carry on until he reaches the nucleus of her desire. To feel the rounded swelling nub of her clitoris, to run his fingers from her clitoris to her vagina drawing up the moisture and back up to the clitoris. Who is able to hold her tightly as her legs quiver and shake with desire until she barely able to stand. Who continues his probing of her pussy, running his finger over her labia, her hole, up towards her bum. His mouth continuously sucking and nursing her breasts. Who can make her moan with the want and need of a hot fuck. Who finger fucks her hard and vigorously two, three fingers in her fanny, causing her to squirt liquid over his hand and drip onto the floor. Who continues to finger fuck whilst rotating his thumb on her clitoris, the heat building and building, the squelching wetness encompassing the silence of the room. His hand reaching up to her throat squeezing gently at the point of orgasm crashing over her body, waves and waves causing rivets of sweat on her back with the passion of the eruption. Who can remove panties and bend her over, arse standing proud, a peach of ripeness, soft and yielding. Who can manipulate and probe her bumhole with the gentleness of a feather yet with the force of cold steel, stretching and encasing his fingers within the dark recess. Who can unzip the flies with one hand and slide the jeans over his hips exposing his cock. Rigid, hard, hot, throbbing and without a word plunging it into her cunt as she is bent almost double. To slide it pass the opening of her vagina in a second, feeling her open up as petals on a flower, into her depth, her darkness, her sex. To fuck her long and hard, stroke after stroke, the cock engorging further and further with blood, harder and harder, faster and faster until an explosion of cum is prevented from hitting the cervix by the thin condom. Who can withdraw, spin her around and whilst removing condom and discarding offering his cock with its residue to her eager mouth. To enable her to suck greedily trying to coax out the last trailing sperm deep into her throat. Her tongue licking and flat out taking him into her mouth enabling him to become erect once more. I will tease your balls, rim your bum and lick and suck your cock to ultimate pleasure.
Past Lovers needs not apply, I have exhausted and discarded you, for you see I am the man-eater you are afraid to meet.